Husband Impersonator

You know, my husband and I have been married twenty-six years, but we still like to go to corners of rooms and make out.

At least that's what the youngest thinks.  First of all, he has NEVER seen that occur.  He joined the family when we'd been married for fifteen years, and he impersonated his father in this text when we'd been married twenty-three years.  I can guarantee you, at that time there were no make out sessions happening in the corners, or in the middle, or outside, or in the kitchen, or anywhere.  The only time we ever used the words "make out" with each other, was like this: "I can't make out this sentence, can you?" and we'd be squinting at each other, not winking.

I blame this sex education misconception (no pun intended - lie - pun totally intended) on the Catholic school.  The "Family Life" section of their studies in fourth grade tell the students "when a husband and a wife stand very close to each other, sperm cells leave the husband's body, and enter the wife's body".  I kid you not.  After my daughter read that, she refused to hug her father for five years.  Well, he had those "flying sperm cells"!

So here's my youngest pretending to be my making out husband, who I guess in some realm calls me "baby" and likes to make babies in corners.  I didn't fall for it.  Not only because it's been a century or two since I've been invited to a make out corner, but the text duplicity gave it away.  My husband's way too laid back and would never insist like that. 

The result of this impersonation is that when my husband and I want to clear a room and get some quiet at home, I'll look over at my husband and whisper "Let's go in the corner and make out, baby" and he'll answer "Let's make a baby" and then all the kids scatter like cockroaches and we can squint at books with each other until the cows come home.