Two Please in a Squad

The youngest kid is adopted, but so much like his Dad, he's living proof that the universe is perverted and twisted.

My husband is often referred to as "the absent minded professor", but I usually just call him my "late husband".  He is very intelligent and does wonderful things in the world, but being on time and remembering certain things are not part of that wonderfulness.

After we were married and I watched our wedding video for the first time and saw that my husband answered, when asked if he had any last words for his future wife, "I love her and can't wait to be married" I felt really bad.  Because my answer to the same question was "Be there, honey - don't be late!" Recorded for all eternity.

He'd forget things because he was focused on healing people of terrible diseases, so I'd get pulled over by the police because he forgot to renew the car's registration and pay the insurance bill.  I called his mom and asked if I could return or exchange him for one of the other sons, and she said "I told you!  No refunds, no returns!" and then cackled hysterically: he was my problem now.  He once left her in the driveway for fifteen minutes waiting for him to run in and get one thing, and COME BACK OUT.  Finally she went inside to look for him and found him reading a book.  HE HAD FORGOTTEN HIS MOM WAS IN THE CAR WAITING FOR HIM.  She did tell me that story before we were married, and I just thought it was CUTE.  

Fast forward: the fourth kid.  The son not of his loins, but looks like him, and THINKS LIKE HIM.  That includes being sweet and funny, and also forgetting things YOU JUST TOLD HIM.  He is so much like my late husband it makes me want to scream!  Want to?  I am screaming!  I knew my mother cursed me to have a nasty teenage daughter like me - but did his mom have to curse me to end up with a son just like HIM!!?? Guess who's laughing now?  My mother-in-law!  I can hear her from the east coast.

Having a kid like this makes me feel for her.  What a nightmare my husband must of been - because the youngest is only eleven, and my head explodes every day.  The kid leaves the room and my words leap out of his head!  I don't know where he goes on these brain field trips, but I think he must be planning to cure something someday.  Just not planning to pick his dirty socks up off the floor anytime soon.

EVERYONE ELSE in the family can laugh at this personality trait in both father and son.  Even my husband laughs at the kid's actions/non-actions, which means HE'S AMUSED BY HIS YOUNGER SELF.  All I have to say is, if I get left in a driveway waiting for that kid, and fifteen minutes goes by, I'm not going in after him.  I'm going to get a massage and not come back until he's in bed.  IF HE REMEMBERS TO GO TO BED.  Oy!